How to Tell Your Children About Divorce

2010-01-26

There is no easy or “right” way to tell your children that their parents are separating or divorcing. It is inevitable that the divorce will have a devestating impact on their emotional and psychological well-being. But you can control how your children learn of the event and help them start down the road to dealing with it.

It’s best to tell your children together, simply, honestly and directly.

Don’t go into detail about why or bash your spouse.

It’s okay to reveal your sadness, while allowing them to also show their feelings.

If you’re separating and not sure about divorce, don’t make predictions or promises you can’t keep.

Try to keep things as consistent as possible.

It is important to encourage the children to have a relationship with the other parent. You may be divorcing your spouse, but neither of you is abandoning your children. Never impose your views onto your children, let them form their own decisions about the other parent. Divorce can be challenging enough for children, do not make it worse by making them pawns in your game.